If we are honest with ourselves, some of the closest relationships have or will end. Not because of a “falling out” or misunderstanding, but in many cases our lives will shift between seasons that will present new opportunities and require new relationships. However, I want to caution against criminalizing those that have exited, or even victimizing yourself for having to make the exit yourself. Seasonal relationships can be valuable for several reasons:
For your impartation:
Some will enter your life and exit with you having learned that the relationship was never meant to be permanent. In the grand scheme of things, after the dust has settled…if you take inventory of the relationship (regardless of the length of time it existed), you’re more than likely to recall something learned. Many relationships that I once had not only proved to be monumental into shaping me into the man I am today, but would have proved to be counterproductive had I attempted to hold on to a seasonal bond after its season had expired. The relationship may have ended, the person may have walked away, but something was left behind (experience, conversation, etc.) that could prove to be valuable in your next chapter.
For you to impart:
Once the season has ended, you may find yourself in an emotional deficit. Trust me, I know what it’s like to have poured into someone, only to realize that the pouring was not reciprocated. The mere thought of that realization can conjure up plenty of angry emotions, but be encouraged! Many times the person that walked away after your investment needed you more than you needed them. Consider this, they saw something in you that they viewed necessary for them to get to their next level. The takeaway that should make you feel better: they may have taken from you, but did not deplete you. You’re still standing which means you had more than enough, your overflow was your investment into them.
To bring life into a dry season that will prove to strengthen your resolve when you need it most:
The season changed, the relationship ended… but you are stronger than ever. Nothing will reinforce a need for wisdom like a relationship that seemingly ended prematurely. The overwhelming feelings if bitterness and betrayal have matured to a state where you realize you are BETTER! You may be scarred, but you are not damaged. Since forgiveness is never about the other person, learning to forgive is the biggest gift you can give yourself! Finally, remember that seasonal relationships should not have the authority to cause lifelong trauma!
Not every relationship will be long lasting, but there is a lesson to be learned even in the short- lived ones. Learn to seek growth beyond frustration and resolution even if there is no reconciliation. At the end of the day we will all have to realize that OUR purpose can not be held hostage by THEIR presence, or lack therof.